How About That?

Hey friends! I’m posting early today because we’re working on a big announcement for tomorrow! I can’t wait to share with you guys the next big step for my little blog that could. How about that?!

I’m flying solo today because Taryn is still on her North American tour and John & Dallas are hiking out to a glacier. Pics of these adventures will be posted later.

Usually, when it is just me and the twinkies I skip church. I’m lazy. However, this morning they were so worked up that I decided church, and the accompanying hour of childcare/fun with other kids would be perfect. It would have helped if I had known there was no childcare today. Frick.

It wasn’t all bad. One of their little friends had his croquet game set up in the lawn. (Did I mention I go to a little hippie church? Yeah, it’s awesome.) We did that for a while. Then I thought I could actually catch some of the service so we went in to the “cry room.” This was clearly the dumbest thing I have ever done. (And I’ve done a lot of dumb things.) Even with the speaker volume turned all the way up (thanks to another parent-I was too stupid to do that) I could not hear one word. I did however get to watch the kids build towers and roads out of blocks and then knock them down. And then get upset over the destruction. Not too smart if you asked me.

I watched Jackson have a near-meltdown when “the baby took Lightening The Queen.” Once he got Lightening back he put him in his back pocket. So no dumb baby could steal it. Babies are like that, jerks.

On the way home I decided to be mother of the year and get them McDonald’s for lunch. Don’t judge, if my family can leave me home with the twinkies while they have fun adventures, I at least deserve a vacation from cooking. Also, they were completely starved.

Jackson actually grabbed my face, turned it toward his and said, “I’m STARVING MOMMY. And I’m hot (it’s 63 degrees). I want to go home right now!” Reese spent 10 minutes in the car having a conversation with himself about food. He does that, it’s kind of creepy.

Jackson ate one and a half chicken nuggets. Reese ate seven french fries.

They weren’t starving after all. How about that?

Saturday Photos

June 14th was the Army’s 236th birthday. Happy Birthday Army! Thanks for giving me a reason to get all dressed up.

That guy in the hat is pretty handsome isn’t he? But, that’s not why I love him.

Nope, it’s because he kept me stocked with drinks…

didn’t care that I spent most of the night with these ladies instead of him…

did the Electric Slide…

acted like a fool…

and then passed out on the way home.

Luckily I wasn’t the only one…

HOOAH!!!

Aggressive Beavers

A few Saturday’s ago I posted this funny sign I saw at the dog park.

At the time I thought it was hilarious. I still do. I love funny people.

This morning there was an article in the Anchorage Daily News about the beavers. Apparently, they have attacked a few dogs. I’m pretty juvenile, so I had to go down to the dog park to see the new signs that have been posted. They look slightly more official than the last one, but just as funny.

Aggressive Beavers? I am much too immature to handle this. Since I assume all of you are just as childish as me, I’d like to share some of my favorite parts of the article.

• “Isn’t there some way we can trap some of these beavers and send them all to a nice lake”
•  “she literally punched the beaver”
• “Self-taught Anchorage beaver expert”
• “Beavers are great fun to watch”
• “I hate to stereotype but the University Lake beavers have pretty much turned me off to all beavers.”

No need to read the article that I’ve linked to, but the comments are amusing. Again, funny people are awesome.

This concludes the 5th grade boy portion of my blog.

Saturday Photos

Today was all about me. Me, me, me. It might have been the best day ever. The day started early with my first race. First race ever. I did a 5 mile race for the Alaska Run For Women to support breast cancer research. I’ve never run 5 miles. If you had told me 3 months ago that I could take part in a 5 mile race and actually finish, much less run the entire thing (with one short potty break) I would have laughed in your face. But thanks to some excellent friends and some hardcore self talk (Like: Keep running you idiot! You can’t run 5 miles? What a sissy!) I made it.

You’ve met Christin before. I know I said she was mean, I stand by that statement. She’s also awesome, thanks for everything. (She is 37 week along and ran 5 miles in 41 minutes! HOOAH!)

Also, thanks to the nice folks at the downtown Anchorage Church of the Nazarene for letting the lady in the pink boa who smelled like urine use the facilities.

Later, after rehydrating and showering I met some of my girls for lunch. There is really nothing like the friendship of women to top off an excellent morning.

The girl in the bottom right does not want to kill you. I promise.

After that we went shopping. I bought these…

I earned them.

Then that we had some more drinks. Also, well deserved.

I think I’ll have a cookie now….

On The Road

This is my 101st blog post. I feel like I am at least 101 years old because today Taryn got her learner’s permit. I can still remember giving birth to her. I remember buckling her into her little infant car seat. Just a short while ago we turned it around so she was forward facing. It was only a few months back that we moved her up to the booster seat and she started buckling herself. I swear only last week she was finally tall enough to ride in the front seat with the airbags on.

Now, she’s learning to drive? That’s not possible, even when you live in a place that allows kids to get permits at 14.

I think she’s only 4. If she’s 14 then I’m…well, I’m really old.

She seems to think so.

We talked about drivers’ ed classes over dinner. I told her that I took one in the summer school session after my sophomore year. She asked me if they had paved roads back then.

John asked if it was hard to stop a dinosaur.

Even Dallas asked if they had invented the wheel yet.

Stupid, sarcastic family.

I don’t think I am going to be able to teach Taryn to drive. She’s obviously too obsessed with my age. The other night we watched the original (and the only one that will ever count) Footloose. At the end the song “Almost Paradise” came on. I told Taryn that this was the theme of my junior prom. I figured she would want to know all the details about my dress (hunter green with lace), my date (Hector Melendez), and the decor (a tropical paradise, I helped build a waterfall out of cellophane).

Instead she said, “Was it in a cave?”

So no, this elderly lady will not be teaching her how to drive. Good luck, Dallas.

(I know you are wondering: No, John did not get his permit too. He won’t take the online pre-test because, “it seems kinda boring.” Stupid teenager.)

Saturday Photos

As you all know my Dad was here the past couple of weeks. He is a plumber by trade, although he is retired now. He keeps saying he is going to go back to work someday (He’s 64) so I kept him busy with various household tasks. One of  them was to run a water line from the sink to the refrigerator so we could install an ice maker.

I know, no ice maker it’s like living in 1947.

My Dad had a little helper for the job…

While he was helping my Dad told Reese that when he grew up he could, “be a plumber, just like me.”

Reese replied, “You’re a plumber? I thought you were a Grandpa!”

Awwww….

This afternoon I took them down to Whittier to catch their Alaska cruise. The scenery was typical Amazing Alaska.

Yes, you should come visit.

One of the first true signs of summer for me is this:

Of course, this is an Alaska summer, so not every day is worthy of Sam Adams Summer Ale.

Today was not. This is the twinkies watching John’s soccer game.

Winter coats, hats, and a blanket to watch a soccer game in June. That sucks.

Words With Kids

The kids are my main source of entertainment. I know that sounds lame, but for real, you can’t make up some of the stuff they say.

Case in point:

Yesterday we took the stupid dog to the dog park. On the way out another dog tried to get in our car. Not a big deal. The owner and I chatted about dogs while the twinkies got in their car seats. (Big milestone: They can snap themselves into the seats all by themselves. This makes my life about 25% more bearable.) When I got in the car Jackson and I had the following conversation.

“Mommy where does she live?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know her, I just talked to her for a minute.”

“Well, we can follow her and then we will know where she lives.”

*I’ll let you know if he exhibits any other weird, stalker behaviors.

The twins have been on an Alaska train adventure with their grandparents. The twinkies miss them a lot. (I do too, but they hate it when I say that out loud) This afternoon I had this conversation with both Reese and Jackson.

“Mommy when will Sissy and John be home?”

“They come back tonight.”

“How many more sleeps?”

“None.”

“One?”

“No, none.”

“Nine?”

“No, none.”

“TEN? Jackson! Ten more sleeps until Sissy and John come home!”

“No, not ten, none. NONE. No more sleeps”

“Eleven?”

That’s when I decided to just have beer for dinner.

Later in the evening after the twins and the grandparents were home we chatted about their trip. To say that my Dad is frugal about certain things is a gross understatement. When I was a kid we got charged for waste if we left food on our plate or left a light on.

I’m not making that up.

Anyway, I asked Taryn if she had spent all of her babysitting money on the trip. This is the conversation that followed.

“No, Mom (rolling eyes) I still have plenty left. I can tell you exactly what I bought.”

“Oh, yeah Bridget she bought these really fancy candies with gold wrappers, I couldn’t believe it!”

“They were chocolate coins and they were fifty cents Grandpa.”

I love that kid.

 

 

Backpacking With Babies

Dallas and I enjoy backpacking. I don’t get to go as often as I would like because of the twinkies. Instead, I hear stories about all the cool places he and the twins get to see. It makes me angry. So, for the last few months we have talked about making a trip with the twinkies. We weren’t sure how far or even if they could make it out to a good spot. We also knew that the potential for disaster was high. All it took was little misstep and someone could be injured or, at the very least, miserable.

The weather here has been fabulous so we decided to take the plunge and set out yesterday morning. It was not miserable. I think we will even do it again, taking into consideration a few lessons we learned along the way.

Tips For Backpacking With Pre-Schoolers

1. Don’t bother giving them a pack. We set them up with tiny daypacks that carried only their extra clothes and crocs. They dumped them off less than 50 feet into the hike. We had to strap them to our packs. Then they asked for them back every half hour. Luckily we were smart enough not to fall for this trick.

2. Resist the urge to hop across rocks to get your children out to a cool spot for a picture. You could fall in the river, then you will have to spend the rest of the hike in wet boots.

3. Pack candy. We usually pack trail mix, mini bagels with peanut butter, and Clif bars for quick energy. They picked all the M & M’s out of the trail mix and then fought over who ate more. Fun.

4. Understand that the sugar high you gave them to get through the next 1/2 mile will also cause them to crash. Hard. They are like crack addicts that away. Pack a lot of candy.

5. Bring an extra bear vault for their clothes. While you and I might be able to eat rehydrated spaghetti and meat sauce without schmearing it all over our shirts, they can’t. Seriously, we had to put his clothes in the bear vault.

6. Don’t camp too close to any clearing that has a fire ring. You might wind up with loud twenty-something-year-olds parking their drunk butts too close to you in the middle of the night. If this does happen, don’t get out of your tent to yell at them. When you wake up in the morning and see the handgun laying in the middle of their site you’ll be glad you kept your cool.

7. Even though it seems like a good idea to hike out another 1.5 miles to see a lake, don’t do it. At least not on your first venture. You’ll pay for it tomorrow.

8. Geo Cache. Geo caching is a great way to keep the kids moving and interested. They love looking for the “treasures.” Feel free to do a little re-con so you can help them find it without getting frustrated.

9. Half a flask of Southern Comfort is not enough for two adults backpacking with two 4-year-olds.

Neither is a full flask.

10. If you see bear scat that is so fresh it is still steaming, make sure you can outrun your travel companions.

Saturday Photos

It’s officially summer in Alaska. The last week has been, amazing with clear skies and temperatures in the upper 60’s. I even got an above 70 day! It makes this Florida girl’s heart weep with joy.

We took the visiting grandparents for a hike out to Thunderbird Falls.

It’s a must see if you ever get up this way.

Later we went to the Eagle River Nature Center. No bear sightings…

but there were plenty of cool teenagers there.

This is why we put up with the cold and dark winters.

We even had lunch on the deck

As it turns out Jackson is a redneck…

Dallas is trying his hand at trout fishing today.

Too bad all that sexy is going to scare off the fish!

Saturday Photos

I participated in the March Of Dimes walk this morning. It was very pleasant. The last time I did it was in Southwest Florida, which was like walking on the surface of the sun. We walked in honor of a child of one of our fellow CAV families. Reese came along for the ride. Jackson was supposed to attend, but he was on strike this morning.

Juice, donuts, and no Jackson? I’m pretty sure it was the best day of Reese’s life.

After that I took Jackson to the commissary. He got a cookie to even things up.

In the pasta aisle I saw this…

It think someone from Barilla is reading my blog. You’re welcome, Alaska.

Later we watched John in the first outdoor soccer game of the season. It was windy so I had the boys put on their hoodies. Have I mentioned how they fight over everything?

Apparently the blue sweatshirt is the best on now.

Crazed Midget Shriner!!