My Poor Little Guys

This afternoon I took the twinkies (and John) to see Cars 2. I might have told them it did not come out until today in an effort to avoid the throngs of germ infested children opening week.

I took a little nappy poo. Totally worth the $7. Totally.

When I woke up I had a moment of realization with Jackson.

Spoiler Alert!! The following content may contain spoilers about the film Cars 2. If you want to maintain the element of surprise you should stop reading now. Also, if you can’t figure out or actually care how Cars 2 ends you might want to rethink your blog subscription.

So, I woke up, wiped the drool from the corners of my mouth and checked to make sure all my boys were still alive. I think I missed about 45 minutes. We were at the final scary moments with Tow Mater hanging in a clock tower, desperate to find a way to save Lightening McQueen. (Or, as he’s known around here Lightening The Queen.)

I looked at Reese and he was nervously shoving handfuls of popcorn into his mouth. I peeked at Jackson and he was panicked.

PANICKED.

He reached out and grabbed my hand.

It occurred to me that he was genuinely worried about Mater and Lightening The Queen. Worried that Mater might actually get crushed in the clock tower and Lightening might explode. Scared. They’re real to him.

He hasn’t seen every animated film made in the last 15 years. Twice.

He doesn’t know that the main characters are always ok. He doesn’t know that even though Cars 2 is only an average movie, there will be a Cars 3. It’s already written and budgeted.

I could see the concern on his little face. Feel him clutching my hand tighter as the pace picked up and the danger got closer. He loves Lightening The Queen. He loves Mater. He honestly did not know if they were going to survive.

He didn’t know and he was scared.

Poor little guy.

It reminded me of John when he was about this age. At dinner one evening we asked he and Taryn what they wanted to be when they grew up. Taryn said she wanted to be either a teacher or a singer. John said he wanted to be a Jedi Knight. Dallas said, “no, really what do you want to be?”

John replied, “I want to be a Jedi Knight.”

“Come on John, you can’t be a Jedi Knight. Star Wars isn’t real.”

John burst into tears. He was inconsolable. He really wanted to be a Jedi Knight, just like Luke Skywalker.

He did not know that Star Wars wasn’t real.

Poor little guy.

WTF Wednesday

On Wednesday mornings I usually run with my friend around a 4 mile loop on post. She cancelled last night, something about not feeling well. She’s also 178 weeks pregnant so I’m ok with her wussing out. Later, my friend Kay invited me on a bike ride. I planned to go, but then got the wild idea to take John and the twinkies (on their bikes) for a run around the loop.

The twinkies ask to ride their bikes every 30 seconds.

He looks pretty happy doesn’t he? The answer is no, not at all. This kid refused to take part. He pedaled so slow that I had to walk, and still keep stopping for him to catch up.

There was an old man with a brace on his leg and a crutch that lapped us. Seriously.

I was so angry that I gave up and turned around 1.5 miles in. It took Jackson and John another half mile to realize they had lost us. I tried yelling for them, but I think John had headphones on. (He denies this charge)

On the way back Reese started pedaling faster so I started to run. No joke, as soon as I started to run he slowed back down. Jerk.

WTF?

Also, the stupid dog peed blood again.

Bonus WTF moment.

This is not staged.

I have not words for this one. He really loves soccer.

Bite This

That’s it, that is the new title for this weekly segment. It has a bit more punch than Tasty Tuesday don’t you think? Big thanks to reader Rhaea for the title. Rhaea can be counted as an in real life friend, even though I haven’t seen her since the 6th grade. She was in my older sisters class in the little Catholic school I attended. It’s true, we were Catholic school girls. We even wore little plaid uniforms like Brittany Spears only more scrawny, small town Ohio girl than slutty, pop star. You get the idea.

Also new this week, I am preparing a recipe suggested by a reader! Heather sent me a few recipes to try. She also included a challenge (and recipe) to make rice pilaf from scratch. Thanks hussy, you’re awesome. (Relax, she’s a real life friend too so I can call her that. You should hear what she calls me!)

Rosemary Chicken & Rice Pilaf

Ingredients

Rosemary Chicken

Adapted from the Deen Brothers Braised Chicken with Rosemary & Potatos

4 Large Chicken Breasts, cut in quarters

1 Tsp. Salt

1 Tsp. Black Pepper

3 Tbs. Olive Oil

2 Cloves Garlic, minced

1 1/2 Tbs. Lemon Juice

1 Tsp. Rosemary

4 Tbs. Unsalted Butter, cut into pieces

Rice Pilaf

This recipe is from AllRecipes.com

2 Tbs. Butter

1/2 Cup Orzo, uncooked

1/2 Cup Onion, diced

2 Cloves Garlic, minced

1/2 Cup Rice, uncooked

2 Cups Chicken Broth

The original recipe calls for chicken legs and thighs. We do not eat chicken on the bone in this house. I also do not enjoy dark meat. Gross. Heather informed me that you need the skin on the chicken to get crispy or some other BS. I just added half a stick of butter. It worked, and I didn’t have to deal with nasty bird skin and bones in my kitchen.

Anyway.

Whisk together the olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic, lemon juice, and rosemary. Place chicken in a dish that is safe for both the oven and the broiler. Pour on olive oil mixture and toss to coat. Sprinkle butter tabs on top. Let it sit for 10 minutes on the counter. Heat the oven to 400 degrees.

In my family my Uncle Ralph is famous for saying, “MORE BUTTER” I tend to agree. There’s nothing that wouldn’t be better by adding more butter.

Put the chicken in the oven for about 30 minutes, or until it is cooked through. The time will vary depending on the thickness of your chicken hooters. To check the doneness of the chicken press on it, without puncturing it. If it bounces back it’s done,  if not it needs more time. When it is close, turn on the broiler and leave it in for another 10 minutes.

The rice pilaf is very easy. I even screwed it up a little and it was still delicious. Let me say right now, I will not ever make Rice-A-Roni rice pilaf again. I will, as the twinkies say, “make it out of scratch.”

It’s easy. Melt the butter in a pan. Add the orzo and cook until brown. Add the onions and garlic and cook it for one minute. Add rice and chicken broth. Heat to boiling. Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes or until all the water is absorbed.

I browned the rice with the orzo (that’s how the box crap works). To make up for the starches that were released I added about a half a cup of water. No problem.

Sorry, I didn’t take pictures of the rice while I was making it.

I also made lima beans. I love them, so do Reese and Taryn. Buy the frozen ones, baby lima beans if you can find them. Cook them according to the package, but for crying out loud add some salt and pepper to the water while they are cooking!

Season everything, everything. Always. I put salt and pepper on turkey sandwiches. I’m not kidding.

Once they are cooked toss them with a few tablespoons of butter.

This was really good, like really, really good. I highly recommend you try it.

Who has a recipe for me to make next week?

Things I Love

Since you all put up with my grumpy mcshlumpypants yesterday, I figured I should do something a bit more cheerful today. Don’t expect too much, mushy isn’t really my thing.

Also, don’t expect me to go on and on about the children, the husband, or the stupid dog. Obviously I love them. If I didn’t I would have blown this joint a long time ago.

Jimmy Buffett – I love Jimmy Buffett. His music makes me happy, especially now that I live in the tundra. It makes me feel warm even when I haven’t seen the sun in days. I knew I was in love with Dallas when I found out he was an even bigger fan than me. My all time favorite Buffet song is One Particular Harbor Dal’s is Cowboy In The Jungle. However, that song Knee Deep by the Zac Brown Band with Jimmy Buffett brings joy to my soul. I mean that, seriously.

Reese’s fashion  – You don’t hear much about Reese on this blog. He’s a sweet little kid who is often overshadowed by his wild twin. (He just brought me my water bottle, for no reason at all.) He’s also the first kid to put on a costume, hat, or big shoes. He spends half of his life in mine or Dallas’ shoes. It’s cute. Today I told him to put on a pair of socks and shoes to go to the dog park. While we are walking I took this shot of the ones he chose.

I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!

Kid language – Reese and Jackson refer to Cars as “Lightening The Queen.” They also refer to their Daddy as “Dawas.” Taryn told me the other day that she likes to eat “cosmotolitan” ice cream. They’re so stupid, I love it.

Wine – Obviously.

The Olympics – I’m not really a sports fan. I could go the rest of my life without ever watching another football game and it wouldn’t bother me one bit. But, come Olympics time and I’ll sit in front of the TV all day and all night to watch everything from Gymnastics to the Modern Pentathlon. John inherited my love for the games, we bond over it every two years.

PB & J – I could eat one every day. I think I did when I was pregnant with the twinkies. It’s the perfect food. Creamy peanut butter and any kind of jam. Except grape, don’t be gross.

Now it’s your turn. What do you love so much you should marry it?

Things I Hate

Not things about you, although I’m sure if I really thought about it I’d find some.

Free Time – When you have a thousand children you never really have free time. I skipped church this morning because Dallas was helping out with the children’s program. We all know I didn’t want to get roped into that business. He and the kids left at about 10:15 and did not return until around 2. If I was smart I would have poured some wine and laid on the couch. I’m stupid. Instead, I sat on the couch for less than half an hour to watch the DVR’d season premier of Louie on FX. (If you haven’t watched it, you should.) After that I wiped down all the counters and tabletops. Cleaned the bathroom. Wiped down all the glass surfaces (including the big mirror on the stairs, that should really never get dirty) and swept and mopped the floors. Dealt with the cable guy who came to check the line. Went to the PX and the Commissary. Baked a batch of cookies, from scratch.

Yesterday Dal stayed home with the boys while I took John out for the afternoon. He made lunch for the twinkies before I left and then laid on the couch. When I came home 4 hours later, I found this:

I’m not upset about the mess. He cleaned it up. (God knows I wasn’t going to) I’m upset that he can sit on the couch all day and I can’t. Even when I really want to.

Taking my kids out in public – I took the twinkies to my friend Christin’s daughters’ birthday party today. She’s the cutest little pumpkin ever (the birthday girl, not Christin). The other children acted normal, they played in the water table and had fun. Jackson poured a cup of water on Reese’s head. He refused to eat anything other than cupcakes. Instead of saying thank you he said, “THANKS HOT DOG!” It took me 25 minutes to leave.

Stupid husband tricks – We have 2 cars, 4 bicycles, and live within walking distance of anything you could possibly need. So of course, on my way home from the birthday party my husband texted and asked me to get him cash. I only know of one ATM near our house that is not in a store. It is not drive thru, so I had to park and leave the twinkies in the car to go in and get cash. The doors were locked to the ATM vestibule. I spent the next 15 minutes cursing Dal for not going to get the cash himself. You know, since he didn’t have 2, four-year-olds with him. He does this all the time with mailing stuff or dropping crap off. It makes me completely insane.

Running – I’m still running. I still hate it. The only reason I continue is because I think my body is changing, less cottage cheese. I haven’t lost a pound. That might have something to do with the nachos I just ate. Whatever.

What do you hate today?

Saturday Photos

It was a busy week in our household. On Tuesday we got to see Dallas jump out of a perfectly good airplane. Usually we do not get to hang out on the drop zone, this was a special family jump. It would have been more special if we had gotten to jump too but the Army has some silly rules agains that sort of thing.

Instead we saw this.

Dallas is in there somewhere. See if you can pick him out.

I couldn’t either, but it was still fun to watch.

The aircraft made another pass that was almost too close for comfort, but the twinkies loved it.

It was an excellent day.

Today I got to go on a date with one of my favorite guys, John.

We had lunch at a little sandwich place near a soccer store because he wanted some new shoes. If you don’t know about our soccer experiences, you can read all about them here.

On the way in I saw this bumper sticker.

No, I did not see Sarah Palin, but this may have been her car.

Unfortunately the soccer shop was no longer in business. This was ok with John because he hates shopping. Instead, we Googled the shoes and ordered them over lunch. I love the internet. John loves not having to actually go shopping and, “talk to salesmen and stuff.”

I had a reuben, because I always have the reuben. As a reuben connoisseur I have to say that Marty’s New York Bagel Deli in Anchorage makes one that is in my top 5.

After lunch and “shopping” I took John to see Cars 2. By Cars I mean Hangover. Don’t judge, Dallas had already let him see the first one, so what difference does it make?

 

Johnisms For Today

Before there was a ‘Twinisms,’ there were ‘Johnisms.’ John is hysterical, sometimes he is trying to be funny. Other times, it just happens.

For your enjoyment…

I spent the day at the park on post. There were some troops having a picnic and playing loud music. I told Dallas they played Pour Some Sugar On Me.

John said, “Wait, what…oh I thought someone actually poured sugar on you. That’d be weird.”

Yes, John it would be very, very weird.

Later, I said I needed to dust because the birds were looking grungy.

These birds..

I stole the phrase, ‘judgmental birds’ from my friend Heather. That’s what I said tonight, “I need to dust the judgmental birds.”

John said, “They look kind of cocky to me.”

I love him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guilt

It happened. I’ve become one of those people who actually cares about the stupid dog. I do. I care. I can’t believe that we let her get sick. The results of her urinalysis came back today with too many bacteria to count and painful crystals.

I suck at life.

I knew she was sick. I knew she was peeing every thirty seconds. I knew that she was putting off a scent at the dog park. The male dogs were all over her.

I tried to convince myself it was because she is such a pretty girl.

I mean really, who wouldn’t love that face?

Maybe it was the aggressive beavers. She’s not much of a swimmer, but she’ll get into the lake at the dog park for a drink. Those beavers are nasty, disgusting animals. I bet the lake is diseased.

Either that or I’m the worst dog parent ever.

Not possible. Not the worst. I’ve seen Animal Cops.

I’m becoming one of those stupid people who will spend piles of money on the stupid dog. I’m already jammed up that the vet only gave me a week’s worth of pain meds for her. I have to call first thing in the morning.

She’s going to gain 10 pounds because I’m comforting her with food. It works for me, so I figure it will comfort her too.

I’ve lost my mind.

Stupid dog.

WTF? Wednesday

This Wednesday I’m having to choose between two Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? moments. It’s going to be a tough call.

Our first WTF? moment is brought to us by my Jackson. Lately, when he talks back to me he ends his sentence with, “how about that?”

For example:

“Oh yeah, well, I’m not going to wear my pants. How about that?”

“Well, then I’m going to punch Reese. How about that?

Or my favorite…

“Fine, then I’m not going to love you anymore. How about that?”

Seriously, WTF? He’s four. What is he going to say when he’s 14?

Or other contender is the stupid dog. This morning while on our Wednesday run she peed…blood. She peed an incredibly large amount of blood. We were only about a 1.5 miles in when she stopped and squatted on the asphalt trail and peed. (she never does that) When I looked and saw the huge puddle of blood I almost passed out. Imagine pouring a gallon of that V8 Fusion crap on the asphalt. That’s what it looked like.

WTF dog?

And seriously, what kind of dog owner thinks for at least three weeks that the stupid dog is peeing too often and might have a UTI but does not bother to make her an appointment? I suck at life.

Thanks for not pulling that crap on the weekend dog. Bravo.

My “friend” Christin was running with me, she’s  38 weeks pregnant. She said that anyone who saw us and then saw that puddle probably thought she had given birth on the trail. Either that or I’d finally had it with her skinny, mean, pregnant self making me look like a loser for not being able to keep up and cut her. I will cut a broad. Just not while she’s pregnant.

For the win I’m going with the stupid dog. Only because she made me realize that she does not completely suck and I would be sad if something happened to her. I have emotions. How about that?

Tantalizing Tuesday

Tantalizing Tuesday? Dinner With Twins? I need a new name for this segment. Thoughts? Ideas? Comments?

Tonight’s dinner is brought to you by the letters D & J, for Dallas and John.

That’s my husband, Elmer Fudd, and my son, the unibomber.

Salmon W/sun-dried Tomato Marinade, Rice Pilaf, and Grilled Romaine

Ingredients

2 Filets of Salmon

1 Bottle of Lawry’s Sun Dried Tomato Marinade

2 Boxes of Rice-A-Roni Rice Pilaf, cooked according to package directions

2 Heads of Romaine Lettuce

Grated Parmesan

Garlic Powder

Olive Oil

Salt & Pepper

The bottle says to marinate the salmon for half an hour. I did it for about an hour and a half. Dallas is not a big fan of fish, so I was trying to get it to taste more like sun-dried tomato and less like salmon. It still did not permeate to deeply into the fish, but it was good.

Don’t ask why he went salmon fishing if he doesn’t like fish. He’s an idiot.

The first step is to start cooking the rice. It takes about 20 minutes. I know it’s a shortcut, when I have time to learn how to make rice pilaf from scratch I’ll let you know. Don’t hold your breath.

Next, prepare the romaine. You will want to keep the head intact, so rinse it and then lay it in a strainer with the open part down for a few minutes. Don’t worry if there is still a little dirt near the root, you won’t eat that part anyway. Then cut it in half so that the root part continues to hold it together.

Using a paper towel, dry out any remaining liquid. Drizzle both sides with olive oil and season with garlic powder, kosher salt, and pepper. I like a lot. It’s totally up to you, just make sure you use a lot when you have me over for dinner.

Depending on the size of your filets it will take a little more than 15 minutes to cook the salmon on the grill. You could also broil it.

When you think the salmon is less than 10 minutes from being finished you will want to throw the romaine on the grill. It’s just like grilling anything else, don’t freak out.

Once it is nicely charred, flip it over and grill the other side.

It’s really good, trust me.

When it is finished chop off the stem and pull out the yellow leaves. Unless you like the yellow leaves, just don’t tell me about it because it’s disgusting.

The batch of romaine that I had on the top rack did not cook as well as I would have liked. The upside is that even if it doesn’t cook it still tastes great. The sun-dried tomato marinade was good and very easy. It made a mess on the grill though, so use foil.

I’m really serious about renaming this post, so shoot me some ideas. Also, if you have a recipe you’d like me to try send it my way.