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I Don’t Like Kids

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Don’t tell anyone. It’s my little secret. But I don’t, not really anyway. I try to keep it to myself because I think most people assume that since I have a herd of children I must love them. I do love MY children, but in general I don’t like children. I’d say I like my children a solid 70% of the time. Most of that is while they’re sleeping.

Admitting this probably makes me look like a bad mom. (that and all the wine bottles in the recycle bin.) But, today at church I found another mom who doesn’t like kids either.

It was the most spiritual moment I think I have ever had at church.

Both of our husbands volunteered to help out with the children’s religious exploration program this summer. At one point or another they each thought they would not be there for their assigned days and we were going to have to fill in.

Seriously, I can’t think of anything worse than working down in the children’s area.

It’s so loud.

And germy.

And filled with children.

Ick.

Dallas wanted me to volunteer with him. I told him no, I don’t like kids. I think he loves me a little less because of it, but I don’t care. One of the other women at church told me my name came up as a potential RE teacher and they all just laughed. Maybe I’m not as good at hiding my true feelings as I think I am.

I like babies. Before they can walk or talk much. When all they want to do is sleep or look up at you like you’re the sun, moon, and stars. That’s awesome. Then they start asking for things and breaking stuff and I fall out of love pretty quickly.

Older kids don’t bother me. Right about 7th grade my kids started being fun. They can handle sarcasm and give it right back. They learned well, like good Jedi Knights.

For the most part I like my friends children. I’ll babysit, just not everyday. I don’t like them that much. The cooler the friend, the more likely it is I’m going to like their children. As soon as you start irritating me, your kids will too. Just a heads up.

I also hate, and I mean really hate, talking to children on the phone. I can’t understand anything kids say over the phone. Most of the time I can’t understand what adults are saying over the phone. I hate the phone. If you call me, odds are I’m not paying attention after the first 15 minutes. Just text me, so I can answer when I feel like it. Thanks.

But don’t give your kids my cell number. I only text my own children. Texting other children would be creepy.

I know that I am guilty of making people talk to my children on the phone. It sucks. I’m sorry. I won’t ever do it again. Except to my mother. I like to put Reese or Jackson on the phone with her and let them just walk away. Jackson could talk for hours. It’s hysterical. I’ll shoot a video next time and you’ll see. No wait, I hate watching videos of kids too.

Nevermind.

I’m glad I got that off my chest. Please tell me some of you feel the same way so I don’t feel like such a jerk.

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About Twinisms

I am the mother of two sets of twins that are ten years apart. Each of them has moments where they say and do hilarious, frustrating, and crazy things.I counter that by also doing borderline crazy things. It's a good time.

34 responses »

  1. OMG! I just wrote about this a couple of days ago!

    I am an Indian and its kind of cultural for me to be 27 and want a dozen kids. I don want them, I don want the resposibility tat comes from having kids, more specifically!!

    Loved your blog πŸ™‚

    Reply
  2. I like babies too! I just dont dig toddlers. I love MY own toddlers just not that much of a fan of others’.
    Dont worry, you’re not the only one. πŸ™‚

    Reply
  3. …”like good little Jedi Knights”. You’re killin’ me!!!

    Reply
  4. I only pay attention to the kids I like, for what it’s worth. I wouldn’t admit it to ANYONE though! πŸ™‚ Okay, maybe a few.

    Reply
  5. This is why I love you so much! I think we were twins seperated at birth…I’d offer to donate my liver to you after I die, but since I’m a little older, my liver is probably more damaged than yours. πŸ˜‰

    Reply
  6. Don’t worry, I feel the same way! I was actually a bit scared when I was pregnant because even though I knew I already loved the baby, my dislike and impatience with other peoples kids worried me. You’re not alone!

    Reply
  7. Ha! Yes… When a week ago a friend proposed to have a group mom meetup date kind of thing with all the kids I resolutely declined the offer, even though my twins would make up half the kids total. I don’t do kids in hordes well. And I really don’t do mom friends. πŸ˜€
    (Do you know of themompetition dot com? Check it, you’ll like it I think.)

    Reply
  8. I despise sleepovers too, I will make up about anything to get out of them.

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  9. Order in the Quart!

    We must be related. Closely related. Are you missing a sister?? My father has been married five times, so anything is possible…..

    Reply
  10. Unless someone specifically asks to talk to a child on the phone, there is NO EXCUSE for putting them on. It’s not that cute, we can’t understand what they say, and it’s not my problem if they keep hassling you while you are trying to talk. Either get them to leave you alone, or get off the phone and call me back later. I completely understand- I have children of my own that you may notice you have probably never talked to on the phone, unless they beat me to the handset. Just sayin….

    Reply
  11. I’m not a huge fan of kids either. I’m a mom and a teacher. I like my kids, and my class, but other kids or other classes, ugh, they’re generally annoying… I’m not even a huge fan of babies…maybe I will be when mine get older, but right now, I like my 6 month old but other ones I could pretty much care less (including relatives babies!). I always feel bad at functions when people gush over my baby and I don’t pay any attention to the other ones!

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  12. I love children and taught them for over twenty years. Having my own does fill my kid quota from time to time.

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  13. (sigh) I flipping HATE other people’s children. Before I had Noah every child was ‘the cutest kid ever.’ Then I had Noah and all other children became ugly, misbehaved, spoiled rotten, bratty annoying kids with snot in their nose. They all talk too much and scream in the pool. They all have fathers who call them ‘buddy’ and prefer hanging out with the adults so our conversation has to be stifled. They stay up late and walk around during dinner after taking an occasional bite. They walk into my house hungry and thirsty and have no idea what a trash can is, how to flush a toilet or what it means to turn off a light. I loved being pregnant and having an infant and as far as Noah is concerned I loved every single age. Now he’s 11-1/2 and the sarcasm I used to find so funny isn’t so much (he NAILS it), but he’s still THE. FUNNIEST. KID. ON. THE. BLOCK – NO – IN THE WORLD!!!! I love my nephews TO DEATH but I secretly don’t always like them (do NOT tell my sister).

    Reply
  14. Ha ha I think that is really funny b/c I can’t stand other peoples kids and I absolutely HATE talking on the phone. I also hate when ppl bring huge picture albums for me to look at! It’s the worse!

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  15. My best friend tells me I’m strange for liking other people’s kids so much. Especially during the pre-twinlets days. Then another friend introduced me to her toddler daughter who I thought was a right royal ratbag. I started thinking that something was wrong with me… πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • There is nothing wrong with you. Also, I’m totally going to start using the phrase, “right royal ratbag!” How do you think that will work in the US?

      Reply
  16. Once I thought I would never have kids because other people’s kids are that annoying. The idea of me having to sit around at the playground with loads of other mommys talking mommy stuff and loads of loud annoying children running round made me REALLY sick. But then I put a tiny version of me in the picture, a little girl with big brown eyes and curly hair, stumbeling around looking cute, and suddenly it doesn’t seem that bad at all. Someone HAS to populate this world with cute and admirable children — even if it’s someone as narcissistic as me … ;o)

    Reply
  17. I totally get it..I’ve tried to substitute teach, work the nursey at church, teach classes at VBS…can’t do it! I’ve decided that it’s because I have 5 of my own and when I’m not with them…I don’t want to be with anyone else’s either! I did babysit a 4yr old during the school year and it was great but I think it was because she was a girl and I have 5 boys!!

    Reply

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