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I’m The Law

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I like to think that I’m in charge around here. In my mind I tell the children what to do and they fall in line. It’s simple because I’m the mom and I make the rules. I realize that is nowhere near reality. But it’s my fantasy world, don’t ruin it for me.

Today was one of those days when the twinkies acted like caged animals. I will never understand why they insist on running around the house like banshees instead of playing outside. We bought a house with a really big back yard for them. Today was the perfect day to be in it.

Instead, they were climbing on the living room furniture. Running their matchbox cars around the kitchen. Playing in the bathroom sink. Or being loud and irritating in any space where I was trying to hide.

In order to avoid shooting whiskey at one in the afternoon I loaded them on their little bikes, leashed up the stupid dog, and took them to the neighborhood elementary school playground. John even came along so he could play basketball.

Have you ever gone to a park, looked around and though, “hmmm…interesting crowd today?”

Yeah, I had that thought immediately.

John was approached by a young man interested in playing basketball. I think they were playing HORSE. The guy kept chatting John up about basketball players and ridiculous techniques. I found it odd that an adult was having that conversation with a kid. John’s tall, maybe he assumed he was older. The other guy was much older, probably mid-twenties. He had his child there (who he was paying zero attention to, but who am I to judge). He seemed a little shady.

Like a good mom, I kept an eye out.

I was also watching the twinkies. Reese rode his bike all over the courts while Jackson played on the equipment. So I was standing in the middle of it all watching my three boys. I only lasted about 45 minutes. Too many people for me to handle.

On the way home John told me the guy he was playing basketball with was a little weird.

Apparently he said, “That white lady keeps looking at us. I think she was a cop.”

John said, “Dude, that’s my mom.”

So it’s settled. I’m in charge. Now all I need is a badge.


About Twinisms

I am the mother of two sets of twins that are ten years apart. Each of them has moments where they say and do hilarious, frustrating, and crazy things.I counter that by also doing borderline crazy things. It's a good time.

11 responses »

  1. Hello!
    I stumbled upon your site when you were Freshly Pressed. ๐Ÿ™‚ And from there I got hooked!
    First off, I am also one of a set of fraternal twin girls and second, I have 2 kids all girls, a 3 and a 1 year old that are just so physically active.
    I always have a smile if not a laugh out right reading your childrens antics. Some of it, I can very much relate. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Take care!

  2. Oh my gosh! I live in the same fantasy you do! My kids are well behaved, and listen to anything and everything I have to say and are little angels ALL the time! *sigh* wouldnt it be bliss?

  3. hi,
    i can relate to wat u r saying. I only have a 3 year old baby girl and I am so paranoid about taking her out anywhere. I don’t know how i wud handle 4 kids to watch all the time.
    p.s. i really enjoy yor writing. Hoping to read all yor posts, past, present and future ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. That is hilarious. I can make you that badge if you like, I need to re-do mine anyway, it seems it has lost its luster.

    And about parks: I feel the same way. Shady parents usually equals even shadier kids. And hats off to you for lasting 45 mins. My kids are lucky if I last 15. After watching your child’s face get licked, his shoe get licked, you really rethink your trips to the park. ๐Ÿ™‚ great post.

    • I know right? There is one park here that always seems to have normal, nice children and parents. Why is that? Are they attracted to that one park and not to the one closest to my house?!

  5. “In order to avoid shooting whiskey at one in the afternoon”

    I don’t understand.

  6. I have a park by my house that is empty in the mornings. I have never seen anyone else there before 10 am, so that’s where we go. I can’t handle too many people either. And yes in my dreams I say jump and my kids say how high? Reality looks much different. I’m over from Red Dress Club.


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