As a parent, one of the things I pride myself on is raising intelligent and inquisitive children. I attempt to answer their questions as clearly as possible unless it is inappropriate or I’m tired. OK, so when I’m tired I tell them whatever it takes to get them to leave me alone.
Neither here nor there.
Recently, the twinkies have been very interested in the pee slot in their underwear. I always assumed that men don’t actually use it, but Dallas said I was incorrect. Since he obviously knows more about boys’ underwear then I do, I have directed all further questions about the pee slot to him.
The twinkies do not use the pee slot. We’re lucky if they can get the pee in the actual toilet. Imagine the amount of laundry I would have to do if the had to direct it through a slot on their underwear, over the top of their pants. No thank you.
Anyway, last night Reese asked me about the slot again. I told him I didn’t know what it was for and to ask Daddy. When he asked why I said because I wore girl underwear and they don’t have a slot.
He then asked why girls’ underwear doesn’t have a slot. I replied, “because girls don’t have wieners.”
(I realize I should use the word penis, but I don’t. We say wiener around here. Usually at very inappropriate times.)
Reese then asked, “What do girls have?”
“Girls have vaginas. Boys have wieners and girls have vaginas.”
Reese waited a minute to speak again. I assumed the conversation was finished.
“Mommy. Knock, knock”
The twinkies’ preschool teacher reads this blog. In advance, I’m sorry.