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Steel Cage Matches

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People always ask me if my twins “get along.” They must think that being wombmates gives kids some added ability to solve problems or makes them immune to annoying each other. The short answer is yes, they fight. Every day. And yes, it makes me crazy.

They fight over every single thing.

The twins fight over whose night it is to put away the dishes and whose night it is to take out the trash. Taryn does not like to take out the trash during the winter (because it is dark at 4 in the stupid afternoon here). Then in the summer she does not want to do the dishes. Would you believe that each month I have to mark the days on the calendar with a T or a J along with instructions that the initial indicates the person who does the dishes.

They try to trick me otherwise.

In the morning they fight over who empties the top rack of the dishwasher and who empties the bottom rack. As if there is any real difference between those two chores. They claim that it is because the silverware is more time-consuming. It is not.

The twins also fight, almost daily, about what went on at school that day. They fight about what we call “kid politics” or junior high school drama. The fights usually end with one of them saying, “Yeah, well you don’t even have any friends!”

They fight … like an old married couple.

(They hate when I say that. Truth hurts)

The twinkies fight too. All. Day. Long.

I was clothes shopping for the twinks last week and my girlfriend asked me if they liked being dressed the same. Hmmm…I never considered whether or not they actually liked it, I just do it. It’s easier. We have 2 of everything. We just have 2 left shoes and 2 rights, grab a pair.

They also fight over clothes, so having two of everything helps. We have 2 hoodie sweatshirts from Old Navy. (The twinks call them their homie sweatshirts) We have a blue one and a brown one. There have been actual tears shed over who gets to wear the brown one. Don’t ask me why the brown one is so special.

They also fight over who gets to sit behind me in the minivan. I don’t know why this matters, but it is a very big deal. So now, the twink who wears the blue homie sweatshirt gets to sit behind me and the one in the fancy brown one has to sit in the passenger side.

So stupid.

I’m pretty popular around here. There are fights over who gets to sit next to me at every meal. When Dallas is not home I sit on the end with one of them on either side. The downside to this arrangement is it makes it difficult to talk to the twins. This is also the upside to the arrangement.

The battles that rage over the Wii are full-out screaming, pushing, and shoving matches. We have 2 remotes, and games that are for 2 people. Playing those games would be entirely too easy. In the event they actually play a 2 player game, they fight over who is the blue guy and who is the red guy.

I have to keep time and have them trade every 5 minutes.

Same goes for the Leapster.

We recently had to replace one because the sound went out on it. Now they fight over who gets to use the “new”one. They are the exact same thing. Same. Thing.

So, yeah, they fight a lot. Reason #867 why I drink so much.

The next time you feel compelled to ask a mother of multiples if her children “get along.” Don’t. They’re kids, they act like normal kids. Stop asking us stupid questions.




About Twinisms

I am the mother of two sets of twins that are ten years apart. Each of them has moments where they say and do hilarious, frustrating, and crazy things.I counter that by also doing borderline crazy things. It's a good time.

5 responses »

  1. Ok, I have to confess, I just started reading your blog, but I think I’m addicted. This is the Exact.Same.Thing. that goes on in my house. Nick and Moose Fight.About.Everything. (can I underline those last couple of words?) And it’s twices as bad/loud/nerve racking when the twins are with us. I am completely on board with the last line of your post…only, my kids are old enough to realize why I drink so much. (At this point, I think it’s thier goal to see if they can make me drink more/earlier in the day)

  2. We too mark the calendar for trash and dishes duty. Execpt we do it for the entire month….that way there is no confustion on who did it last….it’s April and it will be April all month….just take the trash out.

  3. I am so glad that my children are normal! Well, normal-ish:)

  4. Ditto….someone please call my wife and tell her our kids aren’t broken

  5. Order in the Quart!

    AMEN!!! Did anyone hand you a citation when you gave birth to your twins that gave EVERYONE else the right to ask the frickin’ dumbest questions?? “Are they identical?” “Yeah, that’s why one has curly hair and the other has straight hair…” “Do they fight???” LOOK AT ME! Do I look like my kids hold hands and sing Sunday School songs all day long? When they were babies in the stroller….”are they twins?” “Nope. This one’s mine and I jacked the baby in aisle nine.” ?????!!!! #*D(__****0..


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