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Teen Trauma

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When I was a young mother and just had Taryn and John I used to scoff when I heard people say, “Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.” From where I was sitting, with two babies screaming or two toddlers running around, nothing was harder. It was just not possible. No matter what stories people told me, I was secretly sure that it got easier as kids got older. I always thought that eventually I would be able to relax and they would sort of raise themselves.

My re-creationist memory of middle and high school had me as a star child who never had drama and was never, ever difficult.

I am sure my mother and father would disagree. Luckily only my mother reads this blog and she is restricted to commenting on Facebook. (Now that I have said that I know she will break the rule!)

Here is how I know that having big kids is harder than having little kids. Little kids are frustrating. They cry and whine and are impossible to please. Big kids are equally frustrating. They cry and whine and are impossible to please.

And they know it.

They know that they are making you crazy. I think they do it on purpose. It’s like a game of sink the sub, every single day.

In addition, they can make mistakes or errors in judgement that affect the Rest. Of. Their. Lives.

With little kids, you might worry that what they just ate off the floor at Target will give them diarrhea. With big kids you worry that the new friend they made is going to give them crack.


Today I played Wii basketball with Jackson. It was not even a little bit fun. Every time I scored he started the game over. If he shot and didn’t score he started the game over. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.

However, that is nothing compared to dealing with the big kids. Taryn has been very unpleasant for the past few days. We have attempted to talk to her, but not too much. Sometimes kids just need to be left alone to wallow. Tonight at dinner neither of us could take it any more, so we asked some probing questions.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s going on?”

“Talk to us.”

“We won’t be mad, we promise.”

“Tell us.”


Nothing but silence.

Dallas said, “Do you want to go write about your feelings in your diary?”

She waited a few beats and then finally answered.

“I ran out of pages.”


Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.


About Twinisms

I am the mother of two sets of twins that are ten years apart. Each of them has moments where they say and do hilarious, frustrating, and crazy things.I counter that by also doing borderline crazy things. It's a good time.

5 responses »

  1. All I can think is just wait…the real fun has yet to begin…wait until you are certain that your child is “doing the deed”…and you are praying that they are smart enough to use protection…because who wants to be a grandparent before 40?

  2. Jo-Anne Clough

    Ahh, on the comment about when you were in middle and high school and you were “a star child who never had drama and was never, ever difficult.”, funny, I don’t remember it that way!! 🙂

  3. Oh yes! Amen!Scarey how they grow up into young adults so quickly. My daughter knows me all too well. She is ten and is starting to freak me out. The other day she had friends comeover after school and she asked me “mom are the kids too much for you today?” She was able to read me getting frustrated! Then I overheard her tell her friends. “My mom gets overwhelmed with alot of kids around but usually around four if I turn on Oprah she calms down!” She actually said that! lol!

  4. Angela, that is the funniest thing I have ever heard! Oh MY!

    Joe, they are moving in with you then… or you Ma!

  5. I have to agree with you completely on the bigger kids, bigger problems. Trying to get them to talk, huh, good luck! How was your day? Good. How was school? Good.
    and to your post…..
    It’s like a game of sink the sub, every single day.

    Yes they do!!! It is game that I am losing because I blow up at least once a day!!! I love your blog girl and I am so happy to know that I am not alone in this teeneything ☺ (I don’t remember being like this at all)


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